I am writing this information for you my Son, Adam. I have many reasons for doing this. I will take a moment to unpack the primary reasons.

My Love For You, Son

The fundamental reason is that I’m your Father. Consequently, I feel a profound and instinctual obligation to guide you in ways I was not myself guided, that if I would have been, would have given me a big advantage in understanding and wisdom that likely would have greatly influenced my strategies, choices, and long-term perspectives and goals as I attempted to engage with the many complexities of modern 1st world life. In knowing now what I didn’t know as a child, and the major differences that could have made in my own life, I feel an urgent duty to impart knowledge to you, and to help you gain as much advantage as possible through understanding more of this multidimensional competition that we call life than I did at a young age. This sense of responsibility comes from my own lack of life experience and guidance from my own Father(s) early on, then seeing what I was lacking in the latter stages of my life as I looked back at my history and choices retrospectively. Some of what urges me is instinctual, but as my spirit has developed, my spiritual drive and its’ persuasion has also grown stronger. These instinctual and spiritual urgings (to guide our children) have likely been a part of the human psyche for eons, an evolutionary mechanism to aid our offspring in surviving against the forces of nature, as well as identifying, influencing, and hopefully resisting the authoritarian tendencies of our own species and its governance systems.

What The Woke Want To Teach You

It’s no secret that humans we are highly social beings, and as such, are vulnerable to societal and cultural pressures that arise from peers, media, and governmental influences (be it left or right-wing ideologues disseminating their propaganda top-down). These influences create obvious and complex social consequences and insecurities that can and do at times, severely impact our rational thinking, significantly increasing our susceptibility to life-altering and even life-ending consequences like mental disorders and addictions.

These societal pressures can be so strong that, for those not grounded in the well-tested western traditions that have advanced us to where we are as a mostly free and prosperous civilization, they can obliterate our own evolutionarily-given biological and spiritual instincts to equip our own children with the necessary survival skills and wisdom they need; leaving our inexperienced and naive offspring to fend for themselves in an advancing postmodernist society that is in general, losing its’ hard-won wisdom in morality and ethics.

Freedom is a double edged sword. To be free, means we are free to destroy ourselves, and free to defend the the choices to do so. And that’s what many are doing, even in the face of mounds of data and statistical analysis that prove the post-modernists wrong. The analogy I like to use is oxygen.

2.4 billion years ago oxygen began to accumulate in Earth’s atmosphere during the Great Oxygenation Event (GOE), also known as the Oxygen Catastrophe. This dramatic change was brought about by cyanobacteria, which were the first organisms to perform oxygenic photosynthesis (that is, they ingested carbon dioxide and produced oxygen). Over time, these cyanobacteria released oxygen as a byproduct, gradually increasing the amount of oxygen in the atmosphere. This change had a massive impact on life on Earth, causing a mass extinction of many anaerobic species but paving the way for the evolution of aerobic (oxygen-breathing) organisms, eventually leading to the diverse life we see today, which like it or not, includes humans.

Prior to oxygen, there were many types of bacteria and archaea on earth that were intolerant to oxygen. When oxygen levels rose, most of these lifeforms went extinct, and for the next 2.4 billion years, life started evolving to not only tolerate oxygen, but to depend on it as an essential chemical element for survival. I can identify as someone that doesn’t need oxygen, but that doesn’t make my identity true or factual on any level, or in any way. It really only serves to make me an obvious idiot to any rational mind that’s paying attention, destined to destroy myself the day I finally choose to be without it.

Western Civilization is Successful Due to Its Past Failures

Western civilization as we know it today, came as the result of tens of thousands (likely hundreds of thousands) of years of trial and error, and many societal, and governmental iterations of trial, and from our more recent Judeo-Christian foundation from which all of our most important ethics originated like “all men being created equal,” “women’s rights” “caring for widows and orphans” “live and let live” “human rights” “love God and your neighbor as yourself” and the abolishment of slavery (which is extremely recent in human history). Considering the above mentioned circumstances (the societal rejection of things proven to be essential to a free and prosperous civilization, and the adoption of ideas that produce mental confusion and nihilism) the necessity to be a real and present, completely engaged Dad is more evident to me and more pressing than ever before in history.

This is particularly important for me who, as the result of being virtually fatherless for most of my childhood was initially on a collision course with imprisonment with a very high probability of an early death. Having experienced violence, drug addiction, and prison to some degree as a 13 year old child, with many of my friends dying very young as a result of the inadequate father figures they found in society on the streets and in institutions, I want to help you avoid these consequences if possible. Without good parents, (especially fathers for boys) we live out hedonistic, self-seeking, impulsive habits, and self-destructive addictions and lifestyles. We seek out attention from those most feared and respected, rather than those most loved and admired for their character, discipline good-will and leadership qualities. Without guidance, us men will find the power-players, many of whom are dangerous and destructive to themselves and others, and work to win their approval. This is what I did and it’s a dangerous game that can have life-long (only relevant of course if you live very long which is becomes less likely the faster you try and live) implications.

As more feminine, feelings-based public policies and their social acceptance become prominent in society (behind the illogical and irrational, feelings-based motives of “compassion”) the complexity of the problems that arise, and their reality and consequences will become more extreme and obvious to the unbiased observer. With any religious dogma (which is precisely what the “woke” left has become, and where the real problem lies) the consequences are always ignored by those adequately indoctrinated. In other words, the horrendous consequences of trying to accept, include, and even celebrate pedophiles, people with serious mental illnesses that cause them reject their own bodies and biology, violent criminals, and the abolishment of tried-and-true institutions like marriage (which has now become a risky contract i America) and parenting (because they claim children’s rights supercede parental guidance) no longer matter to modern society the way they used to even 100 years ago. Many on the far left have convinced themselves that the problems plaguing our children exist within the fabric of (the most successful society in known history), and not at home with the family (or lack thereof). Rather than address the core issues killing so many of our country’s youth, they prefer to promote broader acceptance of dysfunction and mental illness behind banners of diversity, acceptance, and inclusivity to the point of anarchy in some areas, while many of their children die.

Dads Are Hard To Beat

The main reason that did not happen to me was the influence of my stepfather, which, given his lack of involvement for most of my early childhood still seems a miracle, and it’s left me realizing the power of Dads. Yes, your Grandma Janette is strong, having weathered many tragedies. I assume this is where some of my strength comes from as well. She is also honest and and hard working, and your great Grandfather John Border “Jack” was good natured. I had an uncle “Mark Malone” that I was close to for a time who was smart, articulate and funny, and your great-Grandmother Vada Border (formerly Vada Staten) was a very religious Pentecostal, and I’m sure all of these influences played some positive role, but what will become obvious as you read my story, is that the overarching credit belongs to my stepfather Charles “Gordon” Harless for my leaving the streets and my drug and alcohol addictions to become a positive, contributing member of the sobriety community and society at large.

Hurt People Hurt People

& Healed People Heal People

When our consciences are clear, and our hearts and minds are healthy, the need to teach our children wisdom from a conviction of love, and empower our children is obvious to us. So, my sense of duty in instructing you goes well beyond societal stereotypes of “what a Dad should be”. My stepfather Gordon helped me in such a way that I’m sure he saved my life. His guidance and leading has allowed me to go on to (hopefully) help many others in a fashion similar to how he helped me . . .  inevitably causing some to further help even more people. What seems obvious to me is that our efforts, however small, often cascade on into the future, and through many others and their generations that follow. So, if we damage people (especially the still-developing brains of children) often times they go on to damage others. And when we neglect people, especially children, they will naturally seek out some inadequate counterfeit bond to substitute the bond they should’ve had with their parents and families, leading to all kinds of misdirection in their lives.

Wisdom Will Guide You When You Are Lost

When children are given wisdom (even without understanding it from personal experience which seems to be most valuable) they will likely, at some point come back to it when life becomes overwhelmingly hard and confusing, as it does for us all at various times. So, to be clear, I’m not doing this so that you become perfect Son. That’s impossible; the goal is always incremental progress not perfection. I’m doing it because you’re going to make mistakes as we all do. You’re going to experience pain and loss, and a loss of direction at different points in your life. This seems to be a necessary right of passage in the human experience for growth and maturity. The reason I’m writing this is so when you experience pain and hardship, when you feel as if life may be over and you’ve lost your way, you will remember the answers and solutions that God has already placed inside you through myself and other good influences in your life. Having me as an older and wiser sounding board and touchstone, to confirm what your heart will naturally tell you is true, once you’ve matured enough, will help you be honest with yourself about the often-inconvenient truth, that for everything worthwhile in life you have to pay a price. Nothing worthwhile ever comes without intentional focus and discipline. As you mature and arise again and again from your past impulses and mistakes, it should be easier (when you’re finally surrendered and ready) for you to make the harder, less convenient but most beneficial decisions for your future, your future children (should you decide to take on such immense and rewarding responsibility) and your life.

Meaning, Purpose, Substance, Passion, and Drive Await You!

Once you understand what’s most important in life and why it’s important, you will have a compass to keep you oriented. You will choose the wrong direction sometimes. We all do. As long as you don’t end up killing yourself on drugs and alcohol, getting killed by unscrupulous people that you’re criminally involved with, taking unnecessary risks with your life for the rush of adrenaline, or go to prison due to a lack of ethics, you can always start making new choices. Every day is a new day, but the most progress will be made little by little, incrementally over time. So it’s best to make your biggest mistakes while you’re still young, so you can stay focused on the things that bring fulfillment and success over decades.

You can always make corrections to your mind, through service to others, worship of God, meditation, writing and introspection. Everyday is a new beginning. You can become skilled and insightful, and you will eventually become powerful, which will give you resources and an influential platform to continue promoting health and wellness. Once you’ve found your way, are 99% oriented and as a result 100% motivated and engaged (which might allow you to produce 200% of what someone less oriented can produce) with every important area of your life, life will no longer be hard. That’s right! I’m not going to say it gets easy, because life is rarely easy for any human. That’s just the serious and fragile nature of life, but your effort will start to happen naturally and almost effortlessly. To someone observing you, it might appear hard, because you will likely be expending a lot of energy. Highly motivated people do that. But for someone completely oriented, that has found meaning and purpose in everything they do, the effort becomes so rewarding and enjoyable (when you take time to pause and appreciate what’s happening all around you which is also important) so that for you, it’s as if there’s no longer much of an effort needed at all. When you are completely oriented your efforts will start to happen almost effortlessly. This is a real state of being that has been experienced by millions of successful people. It will be as if the hand of God (whatever He is) is holding you, encouraging you, and empowering you, and I would argue that that’s precisely what is happening.

What Are the Most Important Areas of Life?

1. Your spiritual connection to others is most important! This is what took me the longest to figure out, and not only is it biblical, with the bible being the oldest known library of books in existence, with some story variations going back in time for possibly 100,000 years or more through oral tradition prior to the writing we have evidence for, but it is also scientifically supported through studies like Harvard’s Study of Adult Development (HSAD) and Rat Park. So what is the spirit, and how do you define it? I would define the spirit primarily as our connection to God, other humans. Other weaker spiritual models might include all living creatures including animals, bugs, and even our microbiome, and I agree that we should respect all life, and be kind to it when possible (never take any life, unless it’s necessary) but primarily, our spiritual connections will come from where we can serve, lead, and love the most, which makes other humans number 1. With that in mind, our spirit is fed through family, community and your personal relationships. If you decide to read this website as an adolescent, before you’re grown, this might be hard to see. Young people are still mostly ignorant of wisdom, and make the most mistakes. Youth are often rude and insensitive so you may wonder how you will ever connect, serve or lead such people. This is normal. Some of the worst will never be humans you’ll associate with. The worst of those you meet won’t be in society for long. Some will die or go to prison so don’t expect to connect with, serve of lead everyone you meet. But through your relationships, as you get better at discerning who’s meant to be a part of your life and not, you will start to produce a synergy that will lead to not only an overabundance for yourself and your own family, but it will also impact and empower others around you, that recognize your strength, clarity, and strategy, and want the same for themselves, giving you the ability to build teams of people all working together with the same goals of helping still more people.
2. Your health (which includes a healthy mind) would be second.
3. Knowledge, discipline & persistence are third.

You Can Have A Positive Impact On Humanity

So hopefully you end up understanding that, this business of being a Dad is a very serious matter, that has long term implications for many people and potentially for generations to come because of how it will ultimately guide your interactions with the world at large and through the decades. My primary reason for doing this is to guide you when you’re ready Son, and so that you can guide your children who will hopefully guide theirs, which in some small way, will hopefully contribute to not only better lives for our family lineage, but to the good of humanity as it marches into an uncertain but optimistic future.  

Pass it on!

The wisdom and insight I’m giving you on this website took years to understand. It will likely be the same for you, although it should take fewer years because even throughout your childhood, you will have me as a guide. Once you have a firm understanding of spirituality (service to family, friends, and the less fortunate) economy (how to add massive value to the marketplace so that you’re paid extremely well for it) and the complex political and social hierarchy that comprises our global human society, you will be ready for children, and for society so that you can give others power, and keep our legacy of health, wellness, prosperity, and service.